Cultured
by Fireflies on a Lake
Summary: "Anakin it's a good thing that you never went into politics. You would make a shocking diplomat". It's seems that Anakin and cross-cultural relations equals a complete disaster. The result; Anakin gets whacked in the face with a wet fish by a local, and Obi-wan learns to laugh again. A fem!Obi-wan/Anakin oneshot.


**Cultured**

 **Disclaimer:** Star wars belongs to Disney and George Lucas. I make no profit from this.

 **Notes:** So this is not really intended to be taken seriously, but it can tie in with "Calamity". I wanted to write something a bit more light-hearted, and to challenge myself by writing something with a bit of humour in it. But _it is_ Anakin and Obi-wan we are talking about, so naturally a little drama wormed its way in. This AU oneshot is set during the Clone Wars.

 **Shoutout:** Thank you to anyone who reviews, follows or favorited. You guys are all awesome and I am really grateful . thanks guys.

Constructive criticism and reviews are most welcome.

Hope you guys enjoy!

 **Summary: "** Anakin it's a good thing that you never went into politics. You would make a shocking diplomat". It's seems that Anakin and cross-cultural relations equals a complete disaster. The result; Anakin gets wacked in the face with a wet fish by a local, and Obi-wan learns to laugh again. A fem!Obi-wan/Anakin oneshot.

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 **Cultured**

Ruvia was not the most hospitable planet in the galaxy by any means. However there were worse places to crash land a ship. Obi-wan could personally attest to that.

Her career as a Jedi had led her to many different worlds, several of which had made the Hutt's seem pleasant in comparison.

Ruvian people largely kept to their own affairs. It was uncommon to see a Ruvian wandering the galaxy.

As such Ruvian's were highly suspicious of off-worlder's like herself.

However Ruvian people could also be negotiated with if a person approached them politely and offered the right terms.

Luckily for Obi-wan Ruvia was a world currently allied with the Republic, and it worked out in her favour as she was able to exchange Republic credits with the bartender of a local cantina for the location of the nearest spaceport.

Now all she had to do was find Anakin.

They had initially split up to cover more ground. Although Obi-wan had to wonder at how successful Anakin would be in finding out information. It was not that Obi-wan doubted her former apprentice's capabilities, but she knew Anakin's tendency to lose control of his temper often prevented him from thinking rationally.

Particularly in situations when they were hard-pressed for time like they were now.

They required transport to the closest Republic base in order to report the recent destruction of a nearby Republic outpost in the Gormoran Sector.

Their crash landing had significantly delayed them, and if they did not report it in time than the delay would become a costly one.

When the Separatists discovered the destruction of the outpost they would send a fleet to take control of the Gormoran Sector and it would hinder the Republic's war efforts in the nearby systems.

 _And that is something that we simply cannot afford to have happen. Right now where is Anakin?_

Obi-wan wandered through the town's market place, stretching out with the Force in an attempt to find Anakin. She could sense that he was close by, but how close he was to her own location she did not know.

All the Force told her was that she was going in the right direction.

As she meandered her way through the busy market place she could not help but take in the picture that it presented.

The street markets were a whirl of activity as Ruvian's everywhere went about their business.

Ruvian's were a slightly built people, an adult Ruvian only reached the chest-height of the average human, their skin was a bright, almost neon green and yet their most distinguishing feature was the fact that they had only one eye attached to a lengthy eye stalk.

It seemed to Obi-wan that the Ruvian people loved to adorn both their market stalls, and their bodies with a bright woven material dyed every colour of the known spectrum, and the concentration of so many colours in one place was almost blinding to her eyes.

The street markets were aloud with Ruvian's speaking in their native language, and the hustle of busy market dwellers.

If she were not so consumed by her need to find Anakin than she would be overwhelmed by the sounds and colours her that her senses detected.

 _It's quite an interesting place they have here..._

A stirring in the Force caught her attention, as she heard a loud, and frustrated male voice. A voice that spoke a language she could understand. A voice that she was all-too-familiar with.

"What do you mean you can't tell me where it is? Listen here you worthless scum, you better tell what I want to know now, or you won't like what happens next"

 _Found Anakin_ , Obi-wan thought exasperated.

She turned her head in the direction of the voice, only to see Anakin just outside a small market stall holding up a Ruvian with one hand by the eye stalk, the legs of the poor Ruvian dangling at least two feet in the air.

 _Oh this cannot be good..._

She quickly made her way over to the pair.

"Anakin! What are you doing? Let him go!" she demanded. He glanced at her from the side, but returned to glaring at the Ruvian he was currently holding captive.

"Master he..."

But Obi-wan didn't give him the chance to finish.

"This is not the Jedi way", she told him angrily.

Anakin did not relent, instead he grasped the Ruvian's eye stalk even tighter.

"I said let him go Anakin", Obi-wan's voice was firm. She stepped closer to the pair, prepared to wrest the Ruvian away from Anakin if need be.

Anakin's hand's clenched around the Ruvian's eye stalk, but then let go. The Ruvian was dropped to the ground hard, right before Anakin's boots.

The Ruvian was wheezing, as if he had been suffocated by Anakin's hold and he inched away in fear of Anakin.

Anakin glared down at him.

"Anakin enough" Obi-wan reprimanded.

She knelt down to help the Ruvian, offering out a hand, but he slapped it away, and spoke angrily in his native language. The words did not sound polite at all.

"Why you little scum, I will..." Anakin started to threaten.

"Anakin! You are not helping the situation here!" Obi-wan cut across him, irate.

"It wasn't me who..." Anakin began.

"Just let me handle this Anakin" she ordered.

Anakin fuming crossed his arms over his chest. Obi-wan looked back to the Ruvian.

"I am terribly sorry for my friend here. He had no right to act as he did. Are you alright? Is there anything I can do?" she asked calmly.

The Ruvian blew a raspberry , stood to his feet and stalked off.

"Huh, well there's your answer", Anakin commented.

Obi-wan gave him a stern look as she stood to her feet. Anakin was not intimated in the slightest. If someone based them on appearances alone, Anakin was the intimidating one of the two with his towering height and large build. Her average height and slight build had at times led opponents to underestimate her.

Their mistake was now Anakin's. She could be formidable force when reckoned with.

Boy, did he have a lecture coming his way.

"Anakin do you mind telling me what all that was about?" Obi-wan's voice was neutral. She was trying to keep herself calm. She reached out to the Force in order to release her frustration, and to feel its soothing presence. She could feel it starting to calm her.

 _Just breathe and..._

"He's piece of lying scum Master. He was lying to me. I had to..." Anakin went on.

 _He had to?!_ Obi-wan thought outraged.

At that she snapped and lost her composure.

"Jedi do not torture people Anakin!" she said angrily.

"I was not torturing him, I was threatening him", Anakin argued. His brows narrowed. He was frustrated with her now.

"Oh yes because that makes it so much better" Obi-wan countered bitterly.

"It's the only way that people like him understand" he defended

"No Anakin what you don't understand is that Jedi do not...", Obi-wan paused when she saw the Ruvian that Anakin had threatened approach him from behind.

The Ruvian now carried what appeared to be a large wet fish in his arms.

"Don't what Obi-wan?" Anakin's voice was impatient.

She did not answer him, as she was completely focused on the Ruvian.

Anakin tensed. He obviously had sensed the Ruvian behind him. A dark look formed on his face.

The Ruvian came around to Anakin's left side, and tugged on his cloak. He now held the wet fish at his side with one hand.

Anakin glared down at the Ruvian.

"And just what do you want?"

The Ruvian said something in his own language. Anakin frowned.

"Obi-wan do you know what he is saying?" Anakin asked.

Before she could reply the Ruvian cried out.

"Harlabunga!"

"Obi-wan what is he..." Anakin asked baffled, but was not able to continue as the Ruvian lashed out, fish at the ready.

All Obi-wan heard was a resounding _snap_ as Anakin was whacked in the side of his face with a wet fish.

With that the Ruvian said something in his own language and nodded to Obi-wan before stalking off back to his stall, carrying the fish over his shoulder. Her eyes followed him as he walked away.

It was only then that she realised that his stall wares were completely composed of fish, and other forms of seafood.

 _Oh so he's a seafood vendor_ , she thought mildly.

She turned her gaze back to Anakin who looked absolutely _flabbergasted_ at what had just occurred.

Obi-wan could not help herself. She laughed. Not just a chuckle, but full on _laughter_.

She nearly doubled over. Anakin turned his eyes back to her.

"Obi-wan!"

"Harlabunga means payback in Ruvian" she told him once she had regained her composure.

"I'm so glad you find this funny" Anakin fumed.

"Come now it's better than whatever greeting you gave him" she chided.

"He was the one who..." Anakin began.

"Let's not get into this now Anakin, we really must be going. I know the way to the nearest spaceport. We should be able to get a transport there" she informed him.

She turned on her heel and strode off with Anakin falling into step beside her.

She was amused by fact that she could sense him still fuming him the Force.

"You know, I think he taught you better than I ever could" she jested.

"Obi-wan!" Anakin growled.

Unable to help herself she laughed again. Clearly his pride was wounded.

 _Force , Anakin it's a good thing that you never went into politics. You would make a shocking diplomat_.

It was strange that although they were hard-pressed for time to get off this planet she was still able to laugh despite the seriousness of their situation.

 _It seems that I have not laughed like that in months..._

The Clone Wars raged throughout the galaxy, and the Force felt suffocated by the darkness wrought by the casualties of the war.

And yet, today things seemed a little brighter somehow. As if hope was a little more tangible.

Obi-wan turned her head to look at Anakin, who still had an annoyed look on his features and her lips tilted into a soft smile.

If she still could laugh, if there were still places and people of such _vivacity_ in the galaxy like she had seen today in the market then perhaps there was still hope after all.

The war would end, the galaxy could recover and she hoped that she would be there to see it with Anakin by her side.

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 **p.s. I was rooting for the seafood vendor, there are many times in the Star War series when I think Anakin could use a slap in the face with a wet fish.**

 **I also intend to update "Axis" soon, there will be a third chapter, and I intend to write a one-shot from Anakin's perspective sometime. It all depends, I have a lot of ideas flowing at the moment, but choosing which one to focus on is the annoying part, but still fun too. Regarding fanfiction I like to see where the wind takes me.**


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